What’s wrong with a little pizza? If you’re hungry, then you need to eat. If choosing this specific food is making you feel guilty or bad, then give yourself a compromise: Eat both some pizza and a “healthier” side dish in order to plan a balanced meal.
Then save some of the pizza so that you can enjoy it later when you get the next craving! Leftover pizza has been proven to be 100x tastier, especially if you have it for breakfast.
My New York Comic Con experience has been a memorable and fabulous experience in a lot of ways. I’m going to talk about the positives later on, but for now, I have to report something more serious and disgusting. I’m recording it as I remember it with as much detail as possible because I do NOT know who this group of harassers were nor can I remember any distinguishing aspects that would help report them to the New York Comic Con staff. I am relating this story below, however, in hopes that others who have suffered harassment from this group can offer further information so we can track these people down and properly ID them. At the very least, they should NOT be allowed to perpetuate this behavior toward anyone else, and their actions be reported to convention staff.
On Saturday, October 12th, 2013 at approximately 5:30 PM, I was walking through Artist Alley with my friend A, who was dressed as steampunk-version of Death from The Sandman comics. I was dressed in an Asian steampunk outfit (an image can be seen here, taken earlier that day). As you can see in the photo, I was modestly dressed (steampunk!) and carrying my parasol. We had been stopped numerous times for pictures from attendees and interviewed courtesy by another press crew while in the Artist Alley. This is why I didn’t hesitate when a man dressed in a dark T shirt and dark jeans pulled me aside and hurriedly asked for an interview.
My friend A was busy posing for other photographers at the time. I’m noting this in case any other photographer in the room noticed them and possibly took a photo with them in the background.
The creeper interviewer (which will now be known at TCI) was about 5’ 2” – 5’4” tall (we were eye-level with each other), slightly stocky athletic built, short crew cut dark hair, brown eyes and tanned complexion. He had at least three others with him, dressed all in black. One of them carried a full camera with built in sound boom, and one other had a clip board and looked like a production assistant. There was some sort of logo on the cameraman and on the interviewer’s mic (probably some generic “The_____ show” but I couldn’t see clearly).
The following the conversation we had:
TCI: (hurriedly) Would you like to be interviewed for a show?
Me: For what show?
TCI: A TV show.
Me: What TV show?
TCI: A TV show
(Note: That should have been the first warning, but I was on my guard)
TCI: So, if I were walking in the rain, could I pay you to walk next to me with your umbrella?
Me: Pay me?
TCI: If I paid you?
Me: Then, buy your own umbrella.
TCI: No, I want to buy an umbrella with an Asian girl.
(Warning bell one)
Me: Then no.
TCI: Are you a geisha?
TCI: Can I be a geisha?
(Warning bell two)
Me. No, you can’t.
TCI: Why not?
Me: Because you lack certain things, like style, tact, grace—
TCI: Ah, but do I smell?
Me: Well, I dunno, I’ve only stood next to you for about 20 seconds, so I can’t tell if you do or not. But however—
TCI: Well in my experience, girls who stand next to me longer than 20 seconds get a cream pie.
Me: I would give you a slap in the face.
TCI: (back away) Really? Would you?
(I snap my parasol shut)
TCI: Thanks so much for the interview, bye! (leaves)
The rest of his pathetic crew, hurrying off: (muttering in appeasing tones): Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
That ended our conversation. I walked away hurriedly in the opposite direction, with my friend A who noticed what was going on out of the corner of her eye but didn’t fully realize what was being said until I stormed off. We walked half an aisle while I explained that I had been creeped upon and was pretty enraged. This was about 5:40 PM and I decided to leave Artist Alley go to the Geeks of Color panel I was moderating. Upon exiting the Alley, deliberately looked for this group in order to snap their photo or ID for a report, but they were no where to be seen.
That was the end of the incident, but I want to warn people about this group, and really really wish I had a camera or phone on hand to record their behavior. It really sickens me to know they are out there, and judging by my interaction with them and their appearance, they seen to have an established method of approaching congoers before hitting them with this harassing behavior, particularly because 1) they knew to dress discreetly and hide any logo they had concerning their production and a way for them to escape notice easily after their filming 2) they obviously targeted me because I am small, female, and Asian, and most likely did not expect me to act as angrily as I did to TCI’s comments.
I am still angry, not as much for their disgusting fetishization and sexist comments towards me, but for the idea that they would CONTINUE this approach and would be targeting young women (a LOT of teenage girls attend this con) and treat them this way for the rest of the con (or any other convention).
If ANYONE out there has more information that they could offer in identifying these individuals, or had a similar experience at their hands, please send me a Fan Mail as soon as possible with the details. We need to act quickly in order to halt this behavior and report these scumbags for their con harassment.
Even if you weren’t at NYCC, please re-blog to get this information out there.
Thanks for your help.
This is, unfortunately, fairly common behavior at the larger conventions. I have been asked quite a few inappropriate questions by many different people with mics and cameras, INCLUDING women. I’ve been asked whether I just had sex with my also-costumed boyfriend, I’ve been asked what I would do with my Aquaman trident in bed, etc. I’ve learned a few things about this.
Your instincts are correct - establish exactly what the site or TV show is straight off. They should be willing to tell you.
Ask before you start what questions they are going to be posing. If they sidestep or are vague, be on your guard. This is an important step for me now, and I always ask in a professional manner to show that I take interviews seriously.
The moment they say something inappropriate, look them in the eye and say firmly “That’s not okay/appropriate and I’m not going to answer you/talk to you anymore/this interview is over.” As women, this can be really hard to learn to do - we tend to smile through our discomfort, be nonconfrontational, and just try to escape. But it’s important to give them the message, without any humor or politeness covering it, that what they are doing is unacceptable.
My girlfriends will tell you that I have even interrupted the conversation when THEY were being asked questions, because I knew it was time to stop. It takes some practice, but don’t take shit!
Good for you. You acted admirably at the time and you’re being awesome now. Major high-fives for your attitude and your proactiveness. Absolutely worth a reblog! I hope you find out who it is and report them to the convention.
Before I get started on making any piece of a costume, I make a TODO list to get a sense of how much actual work I will need to do to get the piece done. This help me stay on top of my projects and it also helps when I’m trying to fit cosplay into my tight schedule.
#1 Break the steps down as small as you can
This helps for several reasons:
- Having smaller tasks will let you squeeze work into 15-30 minute gaps, rather than having to block out multiple hours at a time.
- It will let you know accurately how much work is left: you can keep tabs on whether you’ll make your deadline.
- It’s a great motivation technique because you can check the small tasks off as you go! I personally love the feeling of getting things done quickly - it makes me want to craft more!
#2 Factor in research time
Most of the time, you won’t know everything that you need to make a costume piece. So incorporate research and planning into your TODO list. Research can be: finding patterns, scouting fabrics, reading tutorials on techniques.
#3 Account for practice runs
Before you dig into the expensive materials, you’ll probably want to do a practice run - especially if you’re new to a technique. But make sure that you keep track of the extra time and steps it will take to do this since you’ve just doubled the work!
#4 Include repeated or time-delayed steps
This is important if you are using any materials that need to dry, set, cure etc. Make sure that you take note of anything that needs multiple coats (i.e. repeated steps) or needs to sit/set/cure (i.e. time-delayed). I always have a separate TODO item for each coat of paint and if something needs to sit, I write down how long it will take.
#5 Keep the list updated
As you’re working you may find that you overlooked a step or that you need to redo something. Keep your TODO lists up to date so that you don’t forget anything. Nothing is worse than realizing too late that there were 5 extra steps that you needed to do.
Example: pants from Kite (.hack//Games)
Here are a pair of pants that I am in the process of making (ignore the belts):
Here is an example of the TODO list that I put together for this piece:
- Locate copy of puffy pants pattern
- Fabric dye (orange)
- Fabric paint (yellow)
- Decide to dye or fabric hunt for orange
- Fabric paint trial run « I actually have a separate list for all the steps involved with this
Supplies to purchase:« created after my research
- Orange fabric
- 1” elastic
- Yellow fabric paint
- Dark green fabric for ties
- Cut fabric pieces
- Pattern paint coat 1
- Pattern paint coat 2
- Pattern paint coat 3
- Sew main seams
- Prep pockets
- Add pockets
- Finish seams
- Add waist band
- Add hem bands
- Make hem ties
Some people seem confused sometimes about the phrase “I could care less about ________.”
Bless your heart.
Remember that body positive thinking is all about loving and accepting yourself no matter what your shape might be - If you’re awesome now, then you’re going to be awesome at a lower weight! Or a higher weight! Or if you grew 2 feet overnight! Changing your body doesn’t change you as a person.
There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to lose weight. It really is fine. Losing fat is just a physiological process, nothing more - It’s what naturally happens when you change your dietary habits and activity levels.
There are just two situations where weight loss would not be body positive:
- You are doing it because you hate something about yourself and think that weight loss will “fix” you
- You are losing weight in an unhealthy and self-destructive manner
The important thing is that you’re not trying to lose weight because you dislike yourself, you want to punish yourself, you think that weight loss will make you a better person, or you think that it will make people like you more. You should be making lifestyle changes because you love yourself and your body, not because you hate something about you. You’re still going to be the same person at the end of this. So make sure that you aren’t being pressured or guilted into this. If you’re trying to please other people, then it’s not going to be a good experience.
And remember that part of body positive thinking is also about respecting your body and treating it in a positive manner. Hurting yourself for the sake of losing weight goes against this mentality - Make sure that you’re happy, healthy and safe throughout this entire process. If at any time you stray into some dangerous patterns, make sure that you seek out help. In the best case scenario, you should be going to bed every night feeling content and satisfied with yourself. If losing weight is instead making you feel upset, guilty or inadequate, then something is going wrong.
Good luck with everything! Losing weight while staying body positive can be a difficult balance to maintain, but it’s very possible. Just stay self-reflective and honest about why you’re going through this process.
Okay guys for real, this is the best fitness blog.