Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.
That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?
The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure.
Margie Cox, photographed by Dru Phillips.
Make-up by Thomas Gaddis, and hair by Jaiden Gabana.
This image BLEW ME AWAY. To some it might just be a giggle, but I was absolutely stunned. This picture says it all about the beauty, power and strength of a woman, and in an relevant way with a perfect twist of humor. YOU TELL ‘EM, Margie!! ♥
(via goddamn-batgirl)
At the STWTS opening, I asked people to write their own captions to street harassers.
From Stop Telling Women to Smile Opening at Fresthetic on April 12, 2013. Brooklyn, NY.
Photos by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh
truth
Woowoowoowoowoo
(via pkpow)
We’re joining HollaBack! White Ribbon Campaign Meet Us On The Street: International Anti-Street Harassment Week A Long Walk Home, Inc. (just to name a few!) to bring awareness to International Anti-Street Harassment Week! What would you add to this list?
love this movement
Rah rah!
Why Do I Cosplay? Let Me Count The Ways.
The past couple of weeks have run the gamut from disheartening to encouraging, but predominantly enlightening. I’ve learned lessons about others, about myself, and about the industry and hobby I pour my heart into. I feel that I’m a stronger individual and professional coming out the other side.
Despite the turbulence, I’m incredibly happy with the caliber of discussions that ignited from my blog, as visibility is important to facilitating change in both the game industry and the enthusiast cosplay community. That being said, after a few initial bullet points the game industry aspect of my original post isn’t at the heart of what I’d like to tackle today.[BUT FIRST…]
I’d like to quickly get a few follow-ups out of the way:
- I am not a model. I am also not a professional cosplayer. I am a Community & Communications Manager at a game studio, and prior to that an Associate Editor at Game Informer magazine. I’ve worked in the game industry since graduating from the University of Minnesota with a degree in Graphic Design and a minor in Journalism & Mass Communications. Cosplay is a passion, not an occupation. And while I love the collaborative and creative nature of modeling, I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested in making money or a name for myself in that particular industry. My heart is, and will always be, in gaming.
- On a related note, some of the backlash from my blog was due to an accusation that speaking out was a ploy to further my “cosplay or modeling career.” I can’t prevent this line of thinking from individuals who judge my worth exclusively upon a photo they pick that speaks to their agenda. In reality however, I have a personal policy against monetizing my cosplay endeavors, or imparting a competitive component to my hobby. Selling photos or charging for appearances could help recoup some of the massive costs associated with constructing costumes, but I fear that incentivizing cosplay with money could detract from the real reason I do what I do. I don’t take any issue with those who make money from their passion projects, but it’s not an approach I personally take.
- Yes, I’ve openly admitted that cosplaying may to a degree adversely influence my professional career in the game industry. Happily, most professionals I meet enjoy that I cosplay, as it is often seen as an external representation of my fandom and passion for the gaming culture. Others find it harder to take me seriously when a Google search reveals my costumed capers. That being said, I made a conscious decision years ago to continue cosplaying, as it would be disingenuous to who I am to stop. I’ve written more in-depth about this decision here.
- In regards to the unfortunately common “stop playing sexy dress up time if you want men to treat you as a person” line of thinking, I fundamentally disagree with this perspective. How one dresses shouldn’t determine the degree of dignity and respect you impart on them. Period. That being said, I want to clarify that I don’t often mix my career and cosplay. All the aforementioned instances of harassment from my blog took place at professional game industry events, where I dress in a professional manner. So to those who implied that my bare midriff inspired the CEO to express his interest in impregnating me - it was covered. I don’t make a habit of wearing risque clothing to work. But even if I had made a decision to show a bit of skin, the comment wouldn’t have been more deserved, or less repugnant.
The above line of thinking directly ties into the root of this blog, which is a means of rebutting one of the most common sentiments expressed in response to my original post. Ready for it?
Cosplayers dress up for the singular purpose of attracting and satisfying the male gaze.
There seems to be an impression from those external to the cosplay community that the hobby is sexual at its core. Can cosplay be sexy? Absolutely. To assume that sexy is the endgame for all who participate, though, is very misguided. Drilling deeper, the belief I’m seeing echoed is that we craft costumes with the ultimate goal of being objectified by male strangers. This line of thinking is reductive in the most basic sense, as it boils the pool of participants down to heterosexual females or homosexual men. In reality the motivations for cosplaying are as diverse as cosplayers themselves.
[WHY I COSPLAY]
I cosplay for many reasons, none of which are to attract sexual attention. So what motivates me to dress as fictional characters for fun?
- I’m a Fan. I love video games. I adore comics. I’m getting drawn deeper into the world of anime and manga on a daily basis. I live in reality. I want to play in worlds where airships exist and magic is real and superheroes take to the sky to save the day. Game developers and comic publishers give me this opportunity. They create incredible playgrounds in which I can let my imagination run wild. The triumphs, tribulations, weaknesses and strengths of their characters turn a mirror to myself and inspire me to be a better person. Specific to video games, I think our industry is a convergent type of entertainment that litterally has the ability to change the world. With this in mind it’s no wonder that their work stirs something inside me. It’s no surprise I want to pay tribute to their creativity. Stepping into the shoes of a character I admire is empowering. It’s an incredible feeling to manifest fantasy into reality. This fandom is also why I run Game Informer’s Cosblog and Croft Couture. I want to celebrate the work of others as much as I want to participate. Cosplayers make my world a more vivid, colorful, and fantastical place. I expect many of my peers feel the same.
- I’m Creative. If I’m behind a desk for too long I’ll start to get antsy. I need to keep my artistic tank from running low or I go nutty. Sometimes I draw or paint. Sometimes I take photographs. Sometimes I weld. Sometimes I make jewelry. Sometimes I model. Sometimes I customize toys. Most of the time, however, I make costumes. Why? Because much like gaming is the convergence of so many entertainment mediums, cosplay is the convergence of so many artistic mediums. Those who imply cosplay is merely about attention look at the hobby as a destination, and not a journey. I’ve highlighted a few of my creative triumphs in the photos above. Though cosplay I’ve learned to make armor from thermoplastics. I’ve tackled leatherworking by cutting, dying, stamping, and finishing raw animal hides. I’ve experimented with wig styling and special effects makeup. I’ve leveled up my meager sewing skills. I’ve worked with foam and wood and metal and even carbon fiber. I’ve dyed fabric and distressed props and nearly perfected my battle damage techniques. That being said, I still have so much to learn. I want to try vacuum forming. I want to successfully cast objects from a custom mold. I want to try out 3D printing and finally master sewing a freaking zipper on straight. By constructing costumes I’ve expanded my artistic horizons further than I could have ever imagined. The creativity and craft applications in cosplay are only limited by your imagination, and I’m nowhere near tapping out.
- I’m social. Not surprising considering my current vocation, right? Cosplay allows me to be social on multiple fronts. I enjoy collaborating on costumes with friends and taking lessons from artisans in order to improve my craft. I love meeting up with cosplayers from across the world as we converge on the same city for a convention. And I love chatting with fellow fans on the show floor about our shared interests. That’s what’s so great about cosplay. You are literally wearing your fandom on your sleeve. Cosplay is an instant icebreaker. Mutual adoration of a character or a franchise gives you something in common with people you’ve never even met. I’ve made incredibly fulfilling friendships through chance encounters while in costume, and am a better person for having those individuals in my life.
- I enjoy the attention. Yes, I do appreciate the attention that my cosplay exploits bring, but not in the nefarious way some try to frame it. Attention isn’t the ultimate goal, but rather a really nice windfall. When I invest over a grand and several months of my life in constructing a costume, I swell with pride when others notice my hard work. It makes me feel wonderful to be told that I’ve successfully paid tribute to a universe I love. The attention from franchise fans, fellow cosplayers, and especially creators is incredible. I devolved into fits and giggles more than once when a creator retweeted a piece of my work. When Paul Dini noticed my Lady Two-Face? Died. Notice that sexually charged attention isn’t a motivation for why I cosplay. I understand that it may be a byproduct, and as long as conduct remains respectful I take it in stride. It certainly isn’t a conscious goal on my end though.
[SINCE YOU BROUGHT UP SEXY…]
In response to my previous blog, I was quizzed repeatedly on how I feel when I do get sexual attention from men or women while in costume. The line of questioning was especially aggressive from those who asserted that I was asking for lewd behavior by dressing a specific way.
To be totally frank, I didn’t much mind sexual attention when I first started cosplaying eight or so years ago. I was also much younger then, and hadn’t faced some of the challenges I’d later come across in my professional career. I’ve become less comfortable with this sort of attention over the years, and as a result have begun to gravitate towards strong rather than traditionally sexy characters.I’m fairly certain cosplaying as Mad Moxxi is what turned the tide. Borderlands is one of my favorite games of this generation. Dressing up as Moxxi seemed the perfect tribute to showcase my fandom. Not to mention, the idea of stepping into the stilettos of a psychopath seemed like fun. I modified a bit of Moxxi’s design for modesty sake, commissioned part of the costume, and made the rest. When I debuted the costume at SDCC 2010 I had an absolute blast prancing about in it. However, when my photos were showcased on a popular blog the comment section devolved into a discussion about my breast size in relation to the character. We’re talking over a hundred comments. It felt really gross. I wasn’t a person. I was a specimen.
So while wearing Moxxi was fun, it helped me establish my comfort zone. While I still enjoy leggy ensembles or a v-neck top from time to time, I much prefer badass to suggestive characters. I’d rather be complemented on my craftsmanship than my cleavage. If someone does find something I wear sexy (a totally subjective term, as I’ve been called sexy while dressed as Lady Two-Face) I still expect common decency and respect in our exchanges. If I catch someone stealing a glance, I’m not going to make a fuss. It’s when the scenario becomes degrading and dehumanizing that I take issue, and when I have resolved to take a stand.Let me be perfectly clear. This isn’t an attack on sexy. I actually appreciate both men and women in this capacity. This is rather my personal cosplay mantra, forged from both my unique personality and life experiences. But just as cosplayers participate in the hobby for a variety of reasons, we all have our own comfort zones. Respect should be the rule, not the exception. I hold this equally true for conservatively dressed fans on a show floor as I do for cosplayers who earn cash taking off costumes via paid websites or burlesque performances. A mutual, mature exchange between consenting adults is fine in my book, as long as the aforementioned respect remains intact.
[SO WHAT UNITES US?]
So yes, cosplay can be sexy. I feel strongly that “sexy” isn’t the thread that unites us, however. I don’t pretend to speak for all cosplayers, but throughout the years I’ve been made privy to many motivations.Some consider cosplay little more than a hobby. Others have transformed their passion into a career and make a living off merchandise, commissions, or paid convention appearances.
Some cosplayers invest thousands and thousands of dollars into their costumes. Others craft outfits out of cardboard.
Some cosplayers collaborate with groups, each playing to their strengths and achieving incredible results. Other prefer to work alone, fabricating every part of their ensembles.
Some cosplayers dress up for the love of the character. Others dress up for the challenge of the costume.
Some cosplayers take on personas that echo their own. Others use dressing up as a chance to step into the role of a polar opposite.
Some cosplayers won’t leave the hotel unless they are covered head to toe. Other cosplayers show skin whenever possible.
So what unites us? In the eight years I’ve spent a part of this community, I’ve found that passion, fandom, and courage are the bonds we share.
Ultimately, the above illustrates my primary objective in writing this blog. Cosplayers are complex. People are complex. While I understand that snap judgments come to us unsolicited at times, what marks you as a better person is making the choice not to act on them. To treat individuals as just that. If you decide to dismiss an entire fandom based on misguided notions like the above, you’re the one poorer for it.
Read the whole thing.
This is what people see as they commute to work in Philly.
Hollaback Philly is absolutely doing it right.Other cities need to get on this.
OH shit yes. HOLLABACK!
Is it wrong that I’m a female and completely agree with this guy? >_> People are going to be dicks, and if you choose to wear a Cosplay that’s a bit racy or revealing, people are going to stare, probably inappropriately and hell I’ll be one of them. If you’re not prepared for the reaction your Cosplay is going to get you and for the attention it will draw, don’t do it. I sure as fuck don’t go out in a revealing top and short skirt and get angry at people for looking, because that’s kind of the intention of the clothing, to make me appear attractive in that way.
Silly wiminz.
FYI, the guy griping in the FB post above is exaggerating when he says women are complaining about being looked at, interacted with, or having their picture taken. That is just him whining.
The REAL issue that has come up a lot lately is harassment - inappropriate touching or touching without consent, upskirt photos, sexually offensive language in person or online, following someone around a convention, etc. To be perfectly clear, no, I cannot imagine a cosplayer who would not expect to be looked at. But dressing up is NOT the same as welcoming being harassed and made to feel uncomfortable.
Here is just a sample of some of my recent photo project, CONsent, which you can read about here.
Please read and spread the word around. I got to work with some great cosplayers, photographers and fans and I really hope to continue this project if it gains enough support.
Thank you for looking!I just want to say that as a cosplayer at cons, this is a real issue. The amount of things that get said (and mostly REQUESTED) to us is ridiculous. This deserves a signal boost.
500% on board
So psyched that my girls put my name on the whiteboard even though I wasn’t there. THANK YOU! You know how fucking strongly I feel about this!! <3
I made a judgement call to not hide the names in this. Because of how truly disgusted this made me.
This is the underbelly of the Cosplay community.
If you live go to conventions on the east coast, specifically in Georgia, you should know who these people are and why to avoid them.How I dress has nothing to do with how you treat me, which is to say: LIKE A HUMAN BEING. Because I won’t treat you like a clod of shit stuck to the bottom of my janky rainboots, even though that’s what your behavior calls for.
This needs to stop. And until it does, you can bet your ass I’ll be raising awareness. This isn’t just a nerd or cosplay problem, this is everyone’s problem. I will fight this tooth and nail until things change.
Signal boost all the way across the skyyyyyy
I wish people like this could just go awaaaay
Oh my god, FEMINIST ISSUES!! Dumbass, irrational, needy feminists.
(How are we going to make the word “feminist” okay again? Do we just need a whole new word, or what? A new word would probably get dragged through the mud, too. The sneering at the word “feminism” is an endless source of depression for me.)
Anyway, cry me a fucking river, Boy Who Is Annoyed At Women Standing Up For Themselves On Facebook.
As many of my female peers are doing at the moment, I’m reading a book by Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg called Lean In. The first chapter asks: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
My answer? I’d write this blog.
Hello. My name is Meagan Marie, and I’m a person. I’ve decided I’m going to start standing up for myself in order to be more frequently treated like one.
Something transpired at PAX this weekend that was a true eye opener. While hosting a Tomb Raider cosplay gathering, comprised of eight or so incredibly nice and talented young women, a member of the press asked if he could grab a quick interview. I said he’d need to ask them, not me, and they agreed. He squeezed into the group and posed a question. I couldn’t hear what he said over the hubbub of the show floor, but the confused and uncomfortable looks from the ladies indicated that it wasn’t what they expected, to say the least.
I moved in closer and inquired “Excuse me, what did you ask?” with a forced smile on my face, so to give him the benefit of the doubt. He laughed and didn’t respond, moving a few steps away as I repeated the question to the group of women. Turns out he’d probed what it felt like “knowing that none of the men in this room could please them in bed.” Yes, I’m aware it’s a poor adaptation of a gag told by a certain puppet dog with an affinity for insults. Lack of originally doesn’t excuse this behavior, however.
My anger flared upon hearing this, and for a moment I almost let it get the best of me. I attempted to calm myself down before walking towards him and the cameraman, and expressing that it was rude and unprofessional to assume that these young women were comfortable discussing sexual matters on camera. I intended to leave the conversation at that, but his subsequent response escalated matters quickly and clearly illustrated that this ran much deeper than a poor attempt at humor. He proceeded to tell me that “I was one of those oversensitive feminists” and that “the girls were dressing sexy, so they were asking for it.” Yes, he pulled the “cosplay is consent” card.
At this point, as he snaked off into the crowd muttering angrily at me, I was livid. Actually shaking a bit. It was inexcusable in my mind to treat the group of women in this manner, especially when I gathered them there to participate in an official capacity. I suppose I felt protective for this reason. As if I’d exposed them to an undesirable element of the convention. They united to celebrate their fandom, only to have an uncomfortable and unprofessional moment captured on film.
As I stated publicly this weekend, we escalated the issue to PAX and they responded with overwhelming concern and worked to ensure he wouldn’t bother anyone at the this or future PAX events. They handled the situation with flying colors.
But this encounter isn’t the crux of my blog. This blog is about what I came to realize as a result of the press member’s actions. And what I realized is this: When it comes to defending others, I’m fierce. I’m assertive. And I will hold my ground. One of the cosplayers tweeted me to praise my bravery and say they wish they had the courage to stand up too. The truth is my bravery doesn’t run that deep. When it comes to defending myself I’m a rug that is walked over repeatedly. This has to stop.
Similar behavior has been directed at me for years. Back in 2007 at my very first GDC, I was starry-eyed and overwhelmed to be in the midst of so many people I idolized. So when a drunken CEO of a then-startup pointed to my midsection and said “I want to have my babies in there,” I laughed. I did the same next year when another developer told me that he “didn’t recognize me with my clothes on” after meeting me the night prior at a formal event (to which I wore a cocktail dress). The trend continued for years, and I took it silently each and every time.
It got so bad that one of my Game Informer coworkers had to sit me down and convince me to file a complaint against a massive publisher, after one of their PR leads repeatedly commented about how much he “loved my tits” at a party. Each time I laughed it off and internalized my embarrassment, cementing a fixed smile on my face while fighting back tears. Why? Because I was afraid to rock the boat. I was afraid to perpetuate rumors that I was uptight, difficult, or had no sense of humor. I was afraid of what I’d heard being said about other women being said about me. So I would stick up for others, but never for myself. Sticking up for others was the right thing to do. I had to be careful not to stick my neck out too far, though.
I’m ashamed to admit my lack of courage has continued to this day. While on a press tour in Europe late last year I sat alone with an interviewer while he set up his camera. PR was talking to another member of the press just out of earshot. I asked the journalist what his readers would like to know about me first, per the introduction he outlined earlier. He responded nonchalantly, “Well, they’d really like to see you naked.” I was so shocked I didn’t even register what he said, and I defaulted to my uncomfortable chuckle and frozen smile. I conducted the interview as if nothing had happened. I should have walked out of the room then and there. I should have immediately reported it to PR. But I didn’t, because I was afraid.
And while these industry comments hurt the most, as they often do when coming from peers, I’ve got hope for change even if it is motivated by fear. In a social economy where one unprofessional tweet can ruin a career, I feel like the few unsavory industry personalities are becoming more aware of their words. My line in the sand doesn’t end there, though. I’m going to start holding commenters accountable for their actions too, even if I can only do so on my social spaces.
So here is the deal. I’m a person. I’m not just a “girl on the internet.” I am not comfortable with you remarking on my breasts. I am not comfortable with you implying that you’d like to have sex with me. And I don’t appreciate you rating my looks against my girlfriends in candid photos.
While I can’t stop these comments and questions from arising when they pop up on random blogs across the web, I can stand up and say that that I won’t accept being talked to in this manner anymore. I’m not simply going to ignore you; I’m going to call you out and tell you that you’re being inappropriate. Just because I have a public job and an equally public hobby doesn’t give you the right to ignore my comfort zone.
The situation this weekend at PAX made me question why I’m willing to stand up for others, but not myself. By allowing myself to be treated this way I’m perpetuating that this behavior is acceptable. And it isn’t. If I continue stand by silently, I might as well sit on the sidelines and watch while other young women endure what I have.
The treatment and representation of women in gaming has come to a head this past year, and I know some of you are tired of hearing about it. I’m tired of living it. I want to feel safe and valued as a member of this industry, whether I’m conducting an interview, talking to fans on a convention floor, or cosplaying. And I have a right to that.
I’m not afraid anymore. I’m angry.
[For those of you who have been so supportive these past years, both in the industry and out, please know this blog isn’t directed at you. I can’t imagine dedicating my life to anything other than video games. And that’s why I’m going to fight my hardest to leave it a better place.]I am so impressed with Meagan’s bravery and grace. I want to be like her, and I am going to follow her lead in fighting for equality for women.
Yesss! The more of us that speak up, the better. I am so fucking proud of this beautiful woman.
