I haven’t for over half a year, now. In fact, I’ve been 100% single this whole time.
I wasn’t going to say anything - because it was private, and I was in a great deal of pain, and I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it - but now I’ve come to the point where I’m getting pretty annoyed by people saying ‘your husband is so lucky’.
In fact, even when married, I was miffed by that phrase. Whenever the line has been delivered to me, it’s been in conjunction with ‘a woman that’s beautiful/intelligent/into gaming/into comics is so rare, your husband is so lucky’. This intended compliment not only glorifies me (ick), but alludes that these characteristics can only be appreciated by my significant other. Hey, you can appreciate my being a fan of comics and gaming, and my smarts, and my looks without being married to me. The only things my husband ever had that I don’t offer everyone else was sex and unwavering devotion. So it leads me to believe that when I’m given this ‘compliment’, it’s just masquerading as wishing you could have sex with me, which I don’t perceive as a compliment. At all.
Clearly a relationship is based on more than just comics, games, beauty, and smarts. Please stop simplifying me and the basis of marriage/a relationship.
Men, please stop saying someone’s husband/boyfriend is ‘so lucky’, and start appreciating the traits of a woman as a friend would.
“When I do charity events dressed as Batgirl, all the children of color are absolutely overjoyed. They literally embrace me and I can see them realize that their own race and skin color is not a hindrance to their creativity, as everything they see and experience has been telling them ever since they were old enough to process media.
The white children are hesitant and some attempt to quiz me or insist that I’m not ‘right’ or ‘real’. They are repeating what they have been told and what they have seen all their lives. I explain that Batman believes that anyone can be a hero if they are a good person and work hard, no matter what they look like. So of course Batgirl and Robin can be Black or Chinese or Spanish or anything, because that doesn’t change who they are.
The kids accept this and by the end of the event we’re all holding hands and talking about video games. I think representation is more important than ‘accuracy’ and I won’t be involved with an organization that doesn’t agree with that.”—
Jay Justice, on whether costumers who dress for charity events should only portray characters ‘accurately’ or not, with implications that ‘accuracy’ means that a non white person should limit themselves to canonical characters of color. (via msjayjustice)
Who made this rule? Is there s governing council on this? Did we vote for them?
I don’t really want to call anyone out but it’s a group of people that I’ve admired for a long time. And I’m shocked by this consensus of theirs, to be honest. I’m trying to be civil and understand their point of view - their goal is to “come to life” for the kids, after all - but I’m just really not understanding how not looking like a character is a problem. Preaching acceptance and openness at conventions but not for volunteering is pretty disingenuous, if you ask me.
Take me, for example. (And I’ve always wanted to do what they do in terms of volunteering, I admire them very much.) But I’m not tall, or muscular, or womanly, or beautiful, or really much of anything. In fact, I look like a kid, and if you saw me in real life you probably wouldn’t take a second look. My race would give me more options to work with but I’d still be pretty stuck in terms of what they’re looking for.
Ultimately, I worry that people will be discouraged from volunteering just because comics don’t reflect their diversity and because apparently you have to look like you walked off a page. This attitude bothers me very much.
It bothers me a lot, too. I won’t name names here out of respect to you, LTC, but I did on my Facebook, because I think if you want to declare an opinion (phrased like a DIRECTIVE) like that, you’d better be ready to defend it. And he wasn’t - he blocked me and deleted my comments, as I said. So you piss people off, that’s what happens, we go out and talk about it.
I’d be curious to know what became of this discussion, but… I guess I may never find out. :P
I see what you do as being just as, if not more, inspiring than “staying true to the character”. You show girls AND BOYS that they don’t have to like or be like characters that are the same gender as them. I can see the positive impact a female Captain America fan would have…
I read more of the comments on the original post and regret it. This is basically their argument: “If you’re at a convention, go for it, wear whatever you want and be whoever you want to be. But if you’re volunteering, THINK OF THE CHILDREN! You have to be as true to the character as possible! You have to look like them not only in terms of costume but also in terms of body type, weight, skin color, gender, and hair color!”
What is even this argument? Why is it SO important for children to see exactly what they see in a comic book? Why is it so important to enforce the lack of roles for POC, different gender types, disabled people, etc? Shouldn’t we be trying to help kids realize their dreams? What about when a kid gets it drilled into their head because of the volunteers that they can’t be Batman because they’re not white?
I could go on and on about how problematic this is. :(
Oh shit, is this turning into a thing? My comments on that post were deleted, btw, and I was blocked from the discussion.